


Family

by nanuk_dain



Series: Impossible Relationships [26]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-05
Updated: 2012-08-05
Packaged: 2017-11-11 11:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The time for Tim and Ray has come to decide – Sri Lanka or the US?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/nanuk_dain/pic/000be3gq)

The notification had come early that morning. The ministry had called the Mutur Hospital as one of the few institutions to have a working telephone and one of the nurses had been sent to the orphanage to bear the news of the new possible headmistress that had been found for the orphanage. Tim, as the former leader of Team Two of the Médecins Sans Frontières Rescue and Relief Group San Diego before they'd retreated, was registered as the person temporarily responsible for all matters concerning the Mutur Orphanage and was therefore the first to be notified. He listened to the nurse, asked her a few questions and then agreed to come to the hospital the next day to talk to the ministry in order to get things settled. He was quiet and professional and thanked the nurse with a light bow when she left.

For full five minutes, Tim sat on the bench in the courtyard where he'd spoken to the nurse, unable to move. He stared into the distance, not really seeing anything, a deep frown on his face. He'd known this day would come, but somehow he'd managed to push that reality aside. He'd never expected it to happen that quickly.

A headmistress had been found to relieve him and Ray from their responsibility of the orphanage. He should be happy that the ministry had taken care of the matter so quickly, that there was finally somebody to fill the vacant position, but all Tim could think was that somebody wanted to take away their kids. 

As soon as he'd thought those words, Tim chided himself. They weren't _their_ kids, and it wasn't _their_ orphanage. No matter what had happened in the past six months, they'd never come here to take charge of an orphanage. They were just temporary substitutes. They'd come as part of an emergency rescue and relief group which had left the country four months ago when their assignment was over. Only Tim and Ray had stayed, unwilling to leave things the way they were. Unwilling to leave the kids with nobody officially responsible for them. Marshall had agreed reluctantly after realising that Tim and Ray would stay even without his consent, and they were now in more or less regular contact with the MSF who still had them registered as official personnel in the field. It had helped to strengthen their standing in the community, especially with the gouvernment.

“Hey, what's wrong?” 

A hand touched Tim's neck, interrupting his musings. He effortlessly recognised Ray's voice and the worried tone in it. Tim looked up, caught Ray's eyes, and spoke before he could think about it. “They've found a new headmistress for the orphanage.”

“What?” Ray more gasped than asked, a shocked expression on his face. It took barely a second before he'd crossed his arms and had taken a defensive stance. “I'm not going to leave our kids to a total stranger! Somebody who doesn't know them and has no idea what they've been through! We've been with them every step of the way, we know what happened, we _care_!”

Ray fell quiet for a moment, silently fuming, before he turned on his heel and stalked off. Tim's gaze followed him, but he didn't call him back. He knew Ray had to deal with this first, needed time to think it through and come to terms with it. Once he'd done that, he'd come back and they would talk things through.

Ray didn't say a word about the whole headmistress development for the rest of the day. He wasn't as enthusiastic and energetic as he usually was when he spent time with the kids, but it was obvious he tried not to let anything show. Tim saw him press a kiss to Lakmini's hair when he was carrying her to the dorm that evening, and it made his heart clench painfully. He didn't know how he should ever be able to ask Ray to leave her behind, leave all of their kids behind, and return to their comparatively hollow, empty life in the States. It seemed ages away, something unreal, the memory of a fading dream that he didn't really care about.

All that was important to him was here, right in this still halfway destroyed building. 

Tim had been lying on the plank that served as his and Ray's bed for quite some time, staring through the holes in the ceiling at the shiny dots that were the stars. He couldn't sleep, always thinking about Ray who wasn't here with him, about the call he had to make to the Ministry tomorrow, about the impending future that wasn't what he wanted. 

It was the sound of Ray coming into the room that interrupted the never-ending train of thoughts. He was almost quiet while he stripped off his shirt and his shoes, then he came over to the plank and sat down. Without a word, Ray lay down with his back to Tim, never hesitating to skid until he was pressed against Tim's bare chest. He was seeking contact, closeness, and was at the same time wordlessly apologising to Tim for exploding in his face earlier that afternoon. Tim gently kissed the back of Ray's neck and wrapped his arm around his waist, letting him know that he understood and that no apology was necessary. Some of the tension eased out of Ray's body and he pressed back a little more.

It was quiet for a very long time, but Tim knew Ray hadn't fallen asleep. He couldn't see Ray's face, but he was sure he was staring in the distance, lost in his own thoughts. When Ray spoke, his voice was a whisper, yet it seemed incredibly loud in the tense silence of the room.

"Sometimes I don't know how to deal with all this, how to keep going and make us all get through the next day." Although the words were almost silent, they were as clear as the night's sky. "But then I look at them, see Madona smile or hear Lakmini laugh, and I know that I could never just leave them and return to the easy, comfortable life in the States."

Tim tightened his arm around Ray's waist. "I know. The same thoughts have crossed my mind over and over again."

"I feel responsible for them, Tim, and not only because we happened to be there when nobody else could have taken over. I care for every single one of our kids, and no matter how much work it is and how often I feel totally overwhelmed by it all, I can't just trust a total stranger to take over and care for them as much as we do."

Tim nudged his nose against the back of Ray's neck, wordlessly encouraging to go on. Ray sighed, then he continued, “I want them to grow up happy and become decent adults with no fear to live their lives.”

“Of course you do.” Tim smiled against the skin under his lips, well aware that Ray could feel it. "You already said it, Josh, they're _our kids_."

Although he couldn't see it, Tim knew Ray was frowning in momentary confusion. "Did I really say that?"

Tim's smile widened. “Yeah, you did. More than once, actually.”

Ray just snorted in disbelief tinged with amusement. "When exactly did I develop from an ex-Marine turned college boy into the father of a bunch of Sri Lankan kids?"

"The moment you took your little bug on you arms and offered her safety."

Ray smirked at the memory. "Yeah, she had wrapped me around her little finger as soon as she looked at me with those huge brown eyes."

Silence fell again, but it wasn't uncomfortable this time. They were both lost in their own thoughts, and it was Ray who spoke first. “It's not going to be easy, you know, to convince the Ministry to leave us in charge of the orphanage.”

“No, it's not going to be easy.” Tim let his hand caress Ray's stomach in a soothing, gentle touch. “We'll have to rely on the people here, on Padma and all the others who've been with us every step of the way for the past six months. They're our reference, the only one the government might accept.”

“Do you really think we can convince the Ministry?” The doubt as well as the hope were palpable in Ray's voice, and Tim knew they were reflected in his answer. 

“I don't know, Josh, I really don't.” Tim allowed himself to sigh deeply before he continued. “We're still two American civilians, that will never change, and it might play against us. We're not from here, that's our biggest disadvantage. But our friends here might be able to even the odds.”

“Hmm.” Ray didn't sound reassured.

“We can only try and hope for the best. The decision is not in our hands, Josh.” Tim stared at Ray's neck, then he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the warm skin. “I would never forgive myself if I didn't try, though.”

He felt Ray nod. “Yeah, me neither.”

They fell silent again, and Tim breathed in Ray's scent, letting it calm him down. Although they'd never talked about it, he'd kind of known that Ray didn't want to leave either, but it was good to hear Ray say it aloud. This decision wasn't something casual, it had consequences. Long-term consequences, like which path their lives would take. Where they would spent it. How they would spend it. That they wanted to keep the makeshift family they'd found here in Mutur.

“So, we'll stay.” It wasn't really a question, but it wasn't a statement either.

“Yeah, we'll stay.” Tim confirmed, pressing a kiss to the back of Ray's neck. “With our kids.”

“Good.” He could feel Ray smirk. “I still have to teach Lakmini how to kick ass.”

Tim couldn't help snorting.


End file.
